Mountains...like long waiting lists.

In "3 sleeps" we will drop Esther off for her first day of preschool. While my mommy heart does not want to process the truth of that statement, my mommy brain is AMAZED at the way God is orchestrating every detail of our lives in our new hometown. Let me explain...

Monday: I wrote a LARGE check for daycare. When we moved here in August there were NO open spots in any preschool. Thankfully, a co-worker at Northwest recommended a wonderful daycare provider just blocks from our new home who agreed to take Esther part-time while I finished school and subbed. 

Rob and I talked about signing Esther up for preschool in the fall. He wants Esther to attend the lab school on Northwest campus (http://www.nwmissouri.edu/horacemann/leet/) for preschool based on his interaction with parents of preschoolers who currently attend. I didn't say it, but I thought there is no way we'd make it off the long waiting list.

Wednesday: My first day not subbing since Christmas break I took advantage of the time off to speak to someone at Northwest about getting my Missouri teacher certification. It was in the same building as the preschool. As I entered the building a woman asked if I was there to talk about preschool and when I said no she directed me to where I needed to go. After my meeting, I thought, since I was there, I might as well talk to someone about getting on the waiting list for preschool next fall. I was told Essie could be put on a waiting list for fall OR they had just received a new grant and Essie could start preschool on Monday and have an automatic spot for the fall. By the time I walked away from campus, Esther was signed up to go to all day preschool for less than half the cost of the babysitter! Esther was introduced to her teacher and classroom and had a blast. She can't wait to go.

God directs our every step. He knows what we need before we do. He moves mountains.. like long waiting lists.

The End of an Era

Tonight I was on our back porch in 35 degree weather shaking out a load of Essie's clothes that had just gotten washed and it hit me...it's the end of an era.

I was shaking out the load of laundry because when I googled "What do you do when you wash a pull up with a load of laundry and it explodes?" that's what the blogs told me to do before washing the load again. Fourteen years of motherhood, fourteen years of diapers and pull ups and I had never had this happen to me before so I had to ask my virtual community.

The irony of the situation is that 3 nights ago was the last night Esther will ever wear pull ups. We had determined that when we returned from our Thanksgiving vacation (sleeping in other people's beds) she would be done with them. She rarely ever had a wet pull up anymore - in fact the one in the laundry probably still had the "you didn't wet me" emblem on the front before I put it in the washer.

We spent our Thanksgiving vacation with lots and lots of family. It was a wonderful time. Throughout the weekend as I watched my cousin chase after her extremely active 15 mth. old and my very pregnant cousin's wife waddle around (who actually just gave birth today - congrats!) and my other cousin who had a week old baby still recovering from birth, I realized that I am really ok. Four is just enough. This is really the first time I've felt that (and don't ask me next week because my hormones may change my mind again).

It's the end of an era for the Voss family. No more babies, no more little toddlers. No more pull ups - especially in the washer!

Facebook friends

It hit me today. My list of friends on facebook has changed! I don't mean that I friended or defriended people. I don't mean that profile pics or people's names are changing. You probably wouldn't even see the difference if I showed you the list from yesterday and today. But it changed for me today. I realized that yesterday it was a list of friends I have collected from having lived in all four corners of the United States. In fact, I'm kinda proud of the fact that almost every state and several foreign countries are represented in my list of friends. 

Some of them are family, so it's "goodbye until next time"

Some of them are childhood friends, so it's "goodbye unless we happen to run into each other"

Some of them are college friends, so it's "goodbye until you let me know you're coming to visit your family and we'll have a coffee date"

Some of them are friends who have passed on, so it's "goodbye until we meet again in eternity."

Some of them are my friends here in Lincoln...

Today, my list has changed. It is a list of people I have to say goodbye to...

Raw emotions

This is the face of a truly surprised auntie :) I love that Dara was able to capture the moment I walked around the corner and saw my precious nieces for the first time. 

This is the face of a speechless Joni! I was overcome with SO much emotion when I realized I was in the same room as my precious nieces that all I could do was sink to my knees. My brother had to come over to help me get up.

Some Holy Moments

March 15th I flew across the country knowing that I would meet my African-born nieces for the first time. I was hoping the scheduled flight on the 17th would be on time.  My expectation was that I would be able to have a glimpse of them on the day they got home at the airport and possibly briefly see them from afar the next day before heading back home. God had other plans.

March 16th I woke up and prepared to head to my brother's house. The plan was for our family (my mom, dad, sister and her family, second brother and his wife) to spend time with my first brother's biological children that day. I headed over with my sister-in-law. I walked in the house and saw Caleb and Sam. They didn't recognize me and seemed a bit overwhelmed. My dad unexpectedly hurried me around the corner to the living room. I stepped in and my heart stopped. HOLY MOMENT: there were Jeff and Kara AND THE GIRLS! My brain couldn't compute for a moment. I wasn't looking at another picture on the computer, they were here, early, sitting on the floor in their own home. The sounds that came out of my mouth have been described to me as a "wail" as I melted to the ground overwhelmed with emotion. My brother got up and came over, Isabel in hand, to give me a hug. I touched her - she was real! And she was beautiful! It took a few minutes for me to collect myself to be able to focus on Livy and Kara. I don't remember a more wonderful surprise ever! It was so much fun to watch my brother and sister and family come in and experience the same surprise. I had expected to meet them as one face in a crowd and not be able to be that close to them for a while. Instead, I met them one-on-one and stayed within feet of them for a couple of hours before our family left to allow for naptime. Bell even gave me several huge smiles.

March 17th My sister-in-law Krista and I took a walk. Normally when I visit home, I really only get to talk with Krista at my parents house or her house surrounded by other family members. HOLY MOMENT: This time it was a one-on-one conversation with her when I really got to connect with her.
We got home, showered, headed for lunch with the family before we headed over to Jeff and Kara's for the afternoon and dinner.

We spent time hanging out watching Bell and Livy play and getting as close as they would let us. They are both scared of the family dog and at one point Bell had walked down the hallway not realizing she was heading towards the dog. When she saw the dog, she panicked, fell and started to cry. HOLY MOMENT: I walked towards her and she reached for me! My heart leapt. I picked her up and headed back to her dad. She reached for him almost immediately, but I had gotten to hold her! I had never expected to be able to do that.

After dinner, we put all the kiddos to bed and sat down to play some cards. After the card game, we started a serious conversation about dad's job and mom's retirement.
HOLY MOMENT: My brother suggested we pray for mom and dad. Our family sat around the table, holding hands and praying for each other like we hadn't done in years. There have been some rifts and conflict within our family recently and it was so wonderful to unite in prayer and allow the Holy Spirit to do some healing in our hearts.

March 18th We headed once again to Jeff and Kara's house and this time I took my bags. The rest of the family was heading back to Redding and I was going to stay with Jeff and Kara one more night. We sat around watching Bell and Livy for a few more minutes before heading out the door. Sam was not feeling well and Kara wanted to snuggle with her so Jeff and I hung out with the girls. There came a time when both girls needed to be held.
HOLY MOMENT: Jeff had Bell and I offered to pick up Livy. She came to me willingly! I helped him feed them lunch and then Jeff put the girls to bed and headed out for an errand.
HOLY MOMENT: I got to hang out with Sam watching a movie together snuggling until she fell asleep. Later Jeff took Caleb to swim lessons. Kara and I were hanging out with the three girls and Kara was not feeling well.
HOLY MOMENT: She and Sam snuggled on the couch while I fed the girls dinner. At one point I got to hold BOTH girls at the same time.  I played with them and loved on them.
HOLY MOMENT: After Jeff came home he turned on a song that was special to their family "the adoption song" by Andrew Peterson. Not only did the words touch my heart, but the picture of my brother dancing with his adopted daughter while he sang those words brought tears to my eyes.

I know these girls are too young to remember me, but these are precious, treasured memories for me. I praise God that he allowed me to be a part of such a special time.

A Lazy Sunday afternoon

What a lazy Sunday afternoon...laying on the couch next to my honey after a long afternoon nap, football on TV, my 2 yr. old laying on me giving me kisses...

Two days ago, we got Rob's last paycheck.  

Two days ago, Rob sent in another half dozen applications.  

How can I be this relaxed, this at peace? 

Ten years ago, God told us to move to Nebraska for Rob to go back to school.  

Ten years ago, Rob received his rejection letter from the admissions office at UNL.  

Ten years ago, God told us he would take care of us.  

And He has, every step of the way.

That's how I am this peaceful.  Today I will enjoy God's gift of time with my husband.  I know He is at work on our behalf.  He will not let us go hungry, He will not let our family go without shelter, He will not.  That's not my God.

"Let the holy roar of God resound

watch the waters part before us now

Come and see what He has done for us

Tell the world of His great love

Our God is a God who saves."

It Wasn't Me!

Have you ever had an experience when you're in the middle of doing something and God takes over completely and does His work through you?  I had the privilege of experiencing that today.

After taking a hiatus to have my fourth child, I am excited to back to singing with the worship team at church.   This morning we were practicing before service in a shorter time frame than normal and we were stumbling.  We had trouble getting the mike and monitor settings comfortable for everyone and we were anxious about being able to hear our parts and how they fit with everyone else.  We walked back to the church office to prep for the service with anxious hearts.  

In the office, Bret (our worship pastor) shared that each time "The Revelation Song" is part of the morning service (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsiDukXIeVY) there is evidence of spiritual warfare.  The devil doesn't like us singing the words that Paul heard the angels in heaven singing (wonder if he wrote it when he was up there).  So we prayed specifically that God would use that song.

Back on stage, the first four songs went ok - not great, the sound levels on stage still weren't great, but we did our best.  That didn't matter.  We got to THE song - I sang lead (melody).  As soon as I opened my mouth, I knew something was different.  It is SO hard to describe.  Normally when I sing, because of my training, I am conscious of every breath I take, of every vowel and consonant I sing, I am focused and intentional.  While to the outside world it may have appeared that I was singing like I normally do, inside I realized I wasn't doing any of that.  In fact, I began to feel that I couldn't stop singing if I wanted to.  The Holy Spirit overcame me.  He took over and sang through me this morning.  My friend Amy, who was singing next to me, felt it too.  

There are times in my 35 years of being a Christ follower I have had my doubts.  I am so grateful that God continues to show Himself to me over and over again.  I hope and pray that my church family recognized His hand this morning.  If they appreciated that song and "my voice,"  I hope they realize that they were appreciating the sound of the Holy Spirit singing through me - it wasn't me!